My Heart’s Freedom

I wrote these 298 words from a Flash Fiction Prompt (the sentence on the ninja butterflies) due today. I’m not sure if it’ll be accepted or if it’ll win, but I posted it here cause it’s a different take from a scene already in my book. I think it works better, so I’ll interweave some of it. Let me know if you like it or not.


Eyes don’t deceive me! It can’t be him!

Christopher Mark Cooper flirted with another, a beautiful, expensive-wearing-clothes model. Her flawless face didn’t have a stitch of makeup on.

His sparkling, green eyes moved in my direction.

My own eyes automatically shifted, watching my best friend score the winning goal. I shouted, “You go girl,” but my lungs no longer worked.

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t remove the image of him with her; but still I peeked at them.

She laughed looking up at him.

Great if I stood next to her she would look down at me.

She touched his arm. Jealousy brewed inside me, made my stomach spill out my spleen along with bile.

Now I feel like ninja butterflies are throwing ninja stars at my stomach.

How could he? We hadn’t committed not to see others, but I hadn’t moved on. Eight months later my heart couldn’t find his replacement. Silly emotions, my brain roared, for a guy I met three times, but my useless heart belonged to him.

Why in my high school stadium? Couldn’t he have taken her anywhere else? Stood with her anywhere else?

My trembling fingers touched my friend’s shoulder. “Frank, my dad’s waiting for us downstairs. Let Maria know I’ll call her later.”

“Sure. See ya. Bye bro.” He fist bumped Nick, and smacked Jason. “Let’s go congratulate our girl. Wasn’t she awesome?”

Already forgotten by my friends, I grabbed my brother’s arm, pulling him away from his soccer buddies leaving us.

“Is dad here?”

“He will be by the time we meet him.”

“Thalía Cassandra Reynari you’re such a party pooper.”

I hurried along, hiding between the crowds, avoiding him.

It was my turning point, the moment I discovered how to forget him; how to live.

My heart’s journey to freedom!


#wipJOY March 2016 Third Week

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Protagonist versus Antagonist Week (13th through 19th):

13) Thalía overcomes the fear of losing CM to be true to herself.

14) Will their parents discover what is right in front of their eyes?

15) What scares me most about editing this story is balancing the pacing and descriptions.

16) What scares me most about sharing this story is that readers won’t connect with the characters, they won’t be emotionally invested, they’ll hate it, etc.

17) He can’t learn how much my decision is killing me or how terrified I am that I’ll lose him. (Thalía’s fear)

18) My characters are braver because they take more risks than I did at seventeen.

19) Writing this book has made me braver; I’m willing to share my writing, whereas before my writing only existed for myself.


#wipJOY March 2016 Second Week

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Protagonist versus Antagonist Week (6th through 12th):


6) I was stuck wanting to do something I knew I shouldn’t  but wanted to do so badly despite everything else. (Thalía Cassandra Reynari, protagonist)

7) Thalía is maddening when she doesn’t listen to her inner voice.

8) Thalía’s heart is the most lovable thing for me right now. She’s sweet and wants to make others happier; she’s generous with her time.

9) “Thalía what will your parents say when they find out you’re dating CM Cooper? You know the truth always comes out. Either they’ll stumble upon it or someone will let the cat out of the bag.”

10) Yes, I believe I could be friends with my antagonist, but I’d probably roll my eyes at him quite a bit and chide him for the trouble he causes others.

11) Dave is almost a genius, he’s drop dead gorgeous, and is quite charming, but underneath all that he hurts others, because he carries a deep wound.

12) Dave’s aggressively chasing Thalía is what puts them at odds with each other, especially when she chooses to date CM and not him.

This is a great exercise for me as a pantsy writer, because I wrote this book in three months with no prior experience–except for reading thousands of books–and no plot.


#WIPjoy March 2016

Someone on the Facebook Clean Indie Reads page posted The Simmering Mind Blog of Bethany A. Jennings and I thought this would be fun.

However I’m not going to post every day, because I’ll probably forget or my life will take over. Instead I’ll try post every week  with all of the five to seven challenges in one post.

We’ll see how I do, since I’ve given myself a deadline to provide this novel to my editor in two to three weeks. Yikes, I should be editing not posting.

Here are my answers to the five challenges for this Intro week:

  1. Hidden Love, was the title of my first YA Contemporary Romance , but someone else used the name. I’m close to choosing a new title, but for now it’s still Hidden Love. Here is the blurb:Rule-following, brainy teenager, Thalía Reynari falls for the affluent, Captain of his high school’s swimming team, Christopher Cooper, when he saves her from drowning in a South Florida riptide. Discovering that their relationship is forbidden she must decide whether to defy her parents or reject their love.


  2. I finished writing this novel in three months back in 2011 and then it sat in the backburner while I learned the business end of publishing and wrote four other WIPs. Through my journey I decided that traditional publishing wasn’t for me and that I needed to polish Hidden Love. Currently I’m converting from third to first person and editing out all the extra words and details not needed to maintain a good pace  before I hand it to my editor. (Yes, unfortunately I tend to meander through my writing.)
  3. Sweet, first love, defiance, and triumphs. (This one was difficult, because it asked to describe my book’s  atmosphere or mood in five words.)
  4. You might like this book if you like reading about first love and all the emotion turmoil related to it.
  5. Call me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepson, is the song that reminds me of my book. (Meeting him turns her whole world apart.)

Time to focus on editing before I pick up only one teenager today (my oldest teenager is currently on his Senior/Mission Trip in Costa Rica.).

I’d love to know if you’d be interested in reading it.